by Rachel Yeates, Campus Carrier Copy Editor

Everybody hates a hypocrite. The guy who won’t stop talking about how close-minded people are long enough to let anyone else get an opinion in edgewise. The leader who kicks their feet up and then accuses you of not putting in enough effort. You know who I’m talking about. You can’t take them at their word because they’ve never given you any reason to believe that they’ll follow through.

This isn’t news. You recognize who these people are. Some of you may have clenched fists at the memory of having to deal with them in the past. The problem is you’re one of them. I know I am.

We all have bad days, days when we doubt ourselves, days when we slip up, days when we have changes of heart, and words we wouldn’t have said yesterday suddenly slip our mouths. Sometimes it’s a relief, to get something out that you’ve been hiding for so long, and other times you wish you hadn’t said anything: you didn’t mean it, you weren’t ready.

Our culture prefers stagnancy to truth, and when people “change,” we point fingers and demand explanations. But no one is immune to acting out of “character.”

We build personas for ourselves, but there will always be a disconnect between your personally defined inner self and the external you that others perceive. While you may have changed internally, others have yet to see that change, and when they do, they may interpret it as a threat to their status quo. Though your growth is your business, they may want an explanation. The you they thought they could wrap their minds around has shifted, and in your doing so, you’ve upset their worldview. If you want to keep this person in your life, try to explain your thought processes and help them realize this change is for the better, but if the change splits you apart, look for people who love you for you and want you to feel comfortable in your own skin, growing and evolving as you need to.

If people do change, you should accept them for the person they are striving to become instead of throwing their past back in their face. Let people change.

Reinforcing stagnancy by labeling these changes hypocrisy, reacting strongly when someone voices a different opinion from one they voiced earlier, prevents people from feeling comfortable with showing change. Part of this is the need to accept for yourself that it is okay to grow and change and express that.

Try to ignore past preconceptions and, as John Green says in his book “Paper Towns,” “imagine others complexly.”  See others as people from whom you can learn.

While some may prevent others from growing in a positive way, the opposite is also true. From the same novel, Green writes,  “what a treacherous thing to believe a person is more than a person.” Be careful of idealizing a person to the point that they become, in your mind, flawless. When you idolize someone, they become one sided and flat. So when they act against the paragon you have structured in your head, you see them as a hypocrite and doubt their past actions. But people are allowed to make mistakes. Wrongs don’t negate rights. People are gray scale and full of lights and darks. Learn to look for and embrace complexity.

The word hypocrite still has a negative connotation, but I invite you to think twice before calling someone one. What one may call hypocrisy, another would call redemption or integrity. Sometimes people simply cannot see that what they are saying goes against their actions. But sometimes, people consciously choose to change themselves. Breaking that status quo is difficult, and becoming a more receptive and open person invites others to feel comfortable creating and recreating themselves