Megan Reed, Campus Carrier Editor-in-Chief
Yeardley Love’s family didn’t want her to be just another statistic.
Love was a senior at the University of Virginia in May 2010, just weeks away from her graduation, when she was killed by her ex-boyfriend George Huguely V. The couple had been dating for most of their college years, and they were both lacrosse players at U-Va. However, their relationship was tainted by violence — their friends reported seeing Huguely choking Love at a party, and Love’s mother Sharon said she had seen Huguely aggressively grab her daughter, but Yeardley had asked her not to think too much of it. The relationship ended just days before Love’s death, with Huguely sending her an email saying, “I should have killed you.”
Huguely was convicted of second-degree murder and sentenced to 23 years in prison. While Yeardley’s killer is now behind bars, her family wants other young adults to know the warning signs of abuse and seek help before it is too late. Her mother Sharon and sister Lexie co-founded the One Love Foundation, which teaches adolescents about healthy relationships.
“I feel like what we thought of domestic violence was of someone that was married with children, that was stuck in a situation, that was dependent on the abuser and couldn’t get out,” Sharon Love told CNN in February.
A 2010 study found that 43 percent of dating college women experienced violent and abusive relationship behaviors, and 16 percent had been sexually abused by someone they dated.
But the violence isn’t always male-on-female as some expect. Dating violence occurs in same-sex relationships at about the same rate as opposite-sex relationships, although LGBT young adults are less likely to seek help. Recent studies, including a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services study released in January, have found that young men may be just as likely to be victims of relationship violence as young women.
Dating violence in young adults is unique and may be difficult to identify. According to a 2015 report published in The Family Journal, young adults are more likely to misinterpret aggressive or stalking behaviors, such as one’s partner constantly asking about their location or controlling who they spend time with, as passion rather than abuse. Cyber-abuse is also becoming a greater problem in relationships.
Berry is required to include reports of dating violence and stalking in its annual Clery reports, which document crimes reported on campus. According to the 2015 report, the most recent one available, there have been no incidents of dating violence or stalking reported in the past three years. However, this does not mean that Berry students are immune to the problem of relationship violence or that no one on this campus is affected.
Know Your IX, a nonprofit dedicated to educating campus communities about Title IX and supporting survivors, has a policy guide on their website for addressing dating violence on campuses. They recommend that colleges maintain clear policies to address dating violence and stalking. Berry’s Viking Code defines and prohibits stalking in the sexual misconduct policy. While Berry does not have a dating violence policy, the Viking Code covers sexual harassment and assault as well as physical assault.
The policy guide also recommends that colleges do not publish students’ on-campus or off-campus addresses without the permission of the student. The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the victim tries to end the relationship, and many victims may fear that their abuser will find where they live. Students who report that they have been assaulted or abused can request to change their residence hall. However, students’ campus addresses are listed on Viking Web, although students can choose to opt out of releasing their address.
There is help available in Rome. The Sexual Assault Center of Northwest Georgia can be reached at 866-655-8625, and the Hospitality House’s hotline number is 706-235-4673.
Students can also help by knowing the warning signs of abuse and talking about healthy relationships with their friends.
Yeardley Love didn’t have to die, but campus communities can honor her and the countless other students who have been abused by refusing to allow her story to be repeated.