Campus Carrier Assistant Photojournalism Editor Cait Buckalew shares her thoughts on self-care.

Cait Buckalew, Campus Carrier Assistant Photojournalism Editor

Putting yourself first is something our society tends to frown upon, because many people assume that taking care of ourselves first prevents us from helping others. Unfortunately, this puts us at a loss when a situation arises where our friends need our help. Simply put, it’s a lot harder to help others when you are struggling on your own, and you can take care of yourself while still helping others. 

It is completely acceptable and, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), extremely important that you make sure you are taking care of yourself while providing care for others. You cannot provide your best care and assistance to others if you are not at your best yourself. While assisting others, you still have to remember to get proper nutrition, rest and exercise for yourself. 

It is also in your best interest to take some time for yourself in these crisis situations, or even if you are a long time caretaker. According to NAMI, even taking just five minutes to yourself in the middle of the day can give you enough time out of “caregiver mode” to recharge and be ready to help again. 

Many of us over-commit to our friends when they are in crises. We put our needs and lives aside to assist them. In some situations, this is what is necessary, but when we do this too often, we stop living our own lives. If you are constantly doing for others and not taking care of yourself, you are treating yourself as though your needs are not as important as theirs. From this mindset, you can get yourself into positions where you are putting aside important obligations such as academics, work and your own mental health for others. 

If you are constantly pouring yourself out in service of others, eventually you reach a point where you not only have nothing left to give, but you also have nothing left for yourself. This is true for your time, your energy and your mental health. By not taking time for yourself, you are actually putting yourself at a disadvantage and may end up in a crisis situation all your own. 

According to the Mayo Clinic, some of the best ways to help yourself while care giving are to accept help from others. Assisting someone does not preclude you from also needing assistance. 

Another piece of advice the Mayo Clinic offers is to understand that you cannot do it all yourself. You have to recognize that your skills and abilities can only take you so far. You cannot be perfect and you cannot take on all of someone’s problems for them, and that does not make you a bad person or a bad friend.

One of the most important things you can do while helping a friend in crisis is understand that whatever choices your friend makes and whatever the outcome of the situation turns out to be, it is not your fault. 

Feeling guilty for someone else’s actions and for things you cannot control is easy to do, but in crisis situations there are many factors that are out of anyone’s control, and accepting that fact is one of the most important steps in taking care of you and putting yourself first in crisis situations