Rachel Yeats Campus Carrier editor-in-cheif

“What would you do if you were the least qualified person in the room?” This is four years ago. I’m in high school, interviewing for a highly selective summer program, and my interviewer has just nailed me with a question about my biggest insecurity. What if I got in, but I didn’t deserve to be there? Or what if I didn’t get in and took away an interview from someone else who should have gotten my spot?

I didn’t have a name for this feeling until my freshman year at Berry. Imposter syndrome. My best friend explained it to me over the phone one night, during one of our cross-country conversations. She was only a few states away, but the distance felt like lightyears. 

I was trying to exist in a world where it seemed everyone had already paired off, and I couldn’t convince myself that the people who were my friends truly liked me for me. I didn’t feel like I belonged despite the evidence of my transcripts, recommendation letters and tuition bills.

So what do you do when you feel replaceable? I can’t tell you that I knew then, but slowly my perspective on relationships started shifting. The same friend who gave me a name for that feeling later passed along this token: people come into your life in seasons.

The people surrounding me, who all felt vastly more intelligent and put together, were not my final destination, nor was I theirs. We may not know one another for a lifetime, much less four years, but I wanted to make those moments of connection count. I didn’t have time to waste feeling insignificant. As a writer and journalist, I knew these people had stories and lessons to teach me. I just needed to get out of my head to appreciate them.

There have been times since freshman year when I know I am among the less experienced – be it philosophy or Frisbee golf. Not to say this situation still doesn’t make me nervous as all hell, but why not accept it? You don’t have to be the best to be the most open to growth and other people. Once others aren’t out to tower over you, you realize just how much you can learn from them.

It’s okay if those relationships last only a day, just know that you’re allowed not to know. You’re allowed to ask questions and listen. You’re even allowed to make a fool of yourself. It’s only a moment.

Even though it took two more years for my friend to give it a name, I must have known the answer all along. It just took some time to put it into practice. Even back then I said I would sit back and listen. I would learn as much as I could from my peers and use that to better myself and my craft. Today I would add I will listen to others so that I can be a source of good in whatever small way.

And I got in! Now I can’t say I put these ideas into full effect that summer – oh goodness no, but I started becoming more aware of my place in the world around me.